The truth is often filthy and likes hiding under the floorboards.
“So, I was sittin’ in me chair, the pub packed to the brim with shitty music, pretty girls, and ale. Then these two schmucks with grand ambitions kick in the door. They yell, ‘On yer knees!’ And I respond with:
‘Is that what yer mum taught ya to say? ‘Cause I didn’t even have to tell it to ‘er last night!’
Their fur got a bit frazzled after that, but I was quick on me feet. I threw me glass of ale so ‘ard it killed the poor fella, and the shattered pieces blinded both me and his scumbag friend. Let me tell ya, he scurried real ‘ard after that one.”
The rat with knotted hair snorted in laughter, his dead eye lifelessly spinning in its socket.
“The rest is history, lad. The tender gave me unlimited free ale, the ladies circled ‘round me like a pack of vultures. Gotta be straight with ya, pumpkin, they almost wore me out!”
The rat let out another maniacal laugh, but this time, it was followed by a younger, significantly more nervous chuckle.
“D-Do ya think I’ll be able to impress the ladies like you do, Rory?”
Rory locked one eye on the young rat and grumbled in his grizzled voice, “Don’t ya worry yer little ‘ead, Charlie. I’ll make a lady-pleaser outta ya. But be a man and grow a little dick first! Ya don’t wanna be disappointin’ the ladies now, do ya?”
“Do ya promise you’ll help me, Rory?”
“‘Course, lad! Now, how ‘bout we finish our ‘ittle game here? Ladies like themselves some winners, ya see—”
“Quit fillin’ the kid’s head with lies and nonsensical advice, Rory. That’s the last thing he needs right now! We’re in the middle of takin’ the house for ourselves, and he already has an attention problem. And Charlie, for once in your life, stop listenin’ to a drunkard rambling.”
“Some of us ain’t born with pretty features like yers, Leo. I’d wager if I had me fur as fine as yours, life’d be a lot more fun and interestin’! So how ‘bout ya let me help a boy who’s clearly in need of an experienced individual like meself? And while yer at it, show yerself to the door. We havin’ a game!”
“Well, as much as I want to say I’d love to, I need a hand with the operation and Aleksy is busy. Knowing you won’t get your fat arse off the ground, I thought Charlie would like to help.”
Charlie peered at Rory’s eyes with enthusiasm, begging to help Leo.
Rory grunted out a sigh and then said, “Alrite sure, you can have ‘im.”
“Alright boy, let's go,” Leo commanded in his distinguished voice.
“Where are we going, Leo?”
“To the old wardrobe that our housekeep is nicely keeping for us.”
As Leo exited the darkness of the rat hole, his white fur glistened under the yellow sunlight that gently beamed through the window of the living room. Charlie was quite taken aback by the sight. The infectious touch of envy reached out to him, wishing to dig in and grow like the parasite it is, but he quickly dismissed that feeling. It was not wise to wish for things out of your reach, and one should always be glad with what one has. That’s what Leo told him.
Then he thought to himself, “Leo is wise, he can give me some advice.” He prepared himself before asking the question, his mind racing as fast as his feet were on the ground. They snuck under the sofa and went through another hole to get under the floorboards. As they got in, he then blurted out:
“So, hey Leo, ccc-can you gg-give me some advice—”
Without letting Charlie finish, Leo moved in a sideways motion in the rat tunnel and then attempted to turn towards Charlie without any success. He sighed and then told him:
“You really have been spending too much time with that meathead, haven’t you? Look, Charlie, women should never, ever be your objective. There are two main reasons for this. First is a selfish one. You are the most important thing in your life, and you are responsible for looking after yourself. Chasing after women will prevent you from improving yourself, which in result will make you less attractive. It's a lose-lose situation. I agree with Rory on one thing: no one likes a loser, especially a sore one like him.” He laughed in a low-pitched distinguished manner. He continued:
“Secondly, thinking about women as objectives is sort of inherently hostile to most of them. This is not something we, or at least I, can instinctually understand. Because for us, being wanted seems like the only thing we ever need. But for them, it just feels reductive. They feel insulted, as if we are doing something inherently narcissistic—seeing them as things, not people—even if most of us don’t intend it that way. This is just a fact that you need to get used to, only because it's sort of backwards to your nature as a man. But well, the world wasn’t made for any of us, and it owes you no explanation as to why it does anything. So, my suggestion is just to accept it as what it is and move on.
Oh, and as a side note, don’t try to fake your perspective on women. When it comes to that sort of stuff, they have a sharper nose than Terry has for cheese.”
The moment Charlie heard the name Terry, a chill went down his spine as if he were touched by the divine. He stumbled a step or two but quickly regained his focus.
“- There is also the type of women that Rory likes, who like to be seen as pieces of meat and mere pleasure objects, and there is nothing wrong with that. Every rat’s free to wear a different hat, but I have a feeling that's not the type of women you are looking for.
So, the short of the long of it is, Charlie—first find yourself, what you like, and who you really are. Then your purpose will be driven to you along with your desires. You will naturally find people who are drawn to those same ambitions, and then, love will find you. Be proud, young one; you are too young to bear any regret.”
He smiled so wide that Charlie could see it from behind. He enjoyed lecturing him, but Charlie adored listening to him.
“Thank you, Leo,” he said with eyes full of admiration.
“You are always welcome, Charlie,” said Leo with a heart full of warmth.
There was a brief pause, and then Leo continued:
“How about we start discovering who ‘you’ are after this operation? Hmm, what’s your answer to that question?” asked Leo playfully.
After a sharp inhale full of excitement:
“Will you really help me with that, Leo?” said Charlie.
“Of course, I will,” responded Leo.
“But now we need to focus on the task at hand. We still have plenty of work to do before we can think about anything else,” he said sternly as he lifted a small chunk of floorboard above their heads.
They exited through the small hole into a desert full of sawdust. They both coughed for a while before they made it through to the other side of the cabinet and reached the slightly ajar workshop door.
“Come on now, Charlie, give me a hand with the door,” said Leo as he ran toward it.
They pushed it open just enough for one rat to fit through at a time. The workshop’s stillness was eerie. This made Charlie a bit concerned about Aleksy.
“Wonder what he is busy with. Is he okay?” he thought.
Leo seemed both distressed and relieved at the same time. This didn’t help Charlie dismiss his thoughts about Aleksy, but his worries were interrupted.
“So, Charlie, I have both good news and bad news. Which one do you want to hear first?”
“Start with the bb-bad one first.”
“The wardrobe looks almost finished,” said Leo directly.
Charlie looked a bit confused, thought about it for a while, and then asked, “I don’t quite understand, Leo. Why is that a bad thing?”
“Because, Charlie, that’s how we are going to hide the weapon. You see how he keeps the wardrobe right behind his saw—the saw that he uses every day?”
Charlie nodded.
“That’s where we are going to place the spring trap, and then when he starts working on his saw—BAM! We are going to splatter him!”
He snickered with excitement. The sound he made was really unbecoming of a distinguished rat such as him.
Charlie closed his eyes and shook his head as if he were a bull attempting to shake off a rider. He held his head with both his front feet. Leo quickly realized his error and muttered to himself, “Oh, shit,” then continued audibly:
“Really sorry, Charlie. Didn’t mean to bring those images back to your head.”
There was a deafening silence as Charlie continued his motions, and then he exclaimed without hesitation:
“Serves the fucker right! Let’s make ketchup out of him! I want him to pay for what he did!”
Even though he didn’t show it at the moment, Leo was both a bit intimidated and concerned, but he continued:
“Now, for the good news! As you can very well see and as we have already established, the wardrobe is still here. So that means—drumroll, please!”
Leo imitated the movement of two drumsticks with his fingers.
“The wait is over, boy. We start the plan TONIGHT!”
Charlie got really excited.
“What are we waiting for? Let’s tell the others and move on with the plan!”
“Before we go, we need to make sure everything is going according to plan. So we need to check for something else as well. Come with me, quickly now. I don’t know when our big friend will return home, so we better keep this quick.”
They scurried toward the giant locker, acrobatically jumping from handle to handle and prying open one of its doors. Leo asked Charlie to lift him, and then from the top of his shoulders, he knocked on the wooden part in the middle, separating the wardrobe in two.
He thought for a moment, then blurted out loud:
“Hmm, not ideal, but I suppose it will do. Alright, boy, we can go back now.”
They ran out the door, and under the closet again, crawled through the dark, and cold rat tunnels under the floorboards. They reached the door of their nest as it welcomed them with the smell of feces and moisture.
“After today, never again, my nose will thank me for it,” said Leo right as he entered. But on the contrary, Charlie was relieved by that smell. It smelled familiar; some may even say he liked it. It reminded him of his family. No matter how hard it was, they always had each other's backs.
“Wer where yer sowy arses? You don got me worried,” blurted Rory from his seat. Leo ignored the question and asked one in return:
“Is the boss back yet?” said Leo. The word "Boss" made Charlie shiver ever so slightly.
“No, he ain’t back, but I’m starvin’. Let’s get cookin’. I’m sure he’s gonna get back sooner than later.”
Just as they prepared the meal, a large shadow loomed over the nest’s entrance. It was twice the size of Charlie and slightly bigger than the other rats. The belly walked in, followed by The King, who followed it on his two hind feet. It was easier to walk this way without a tail, and he had lost his when he became a king. His fur was grizzly and thick, and one of his eyes was covered with an eye patch barely containing the scar underneath. He roared with his deep voice:
“Good evening, gentlemen.”
Everyone got up, turned towards the Boss, and responded in unison:
“Good evening, sir.”
Rory’s weird way of talking seemed to dissipate when addressing the boss, and one could ever so slightly hear a more distant "good evening" coming from one of the rooms.
“Aleksy,” thought Charlie. It was strange that he didn’t come out to the front to greet the Boss. Whatever he was up to, it must have been of utmost importance.
The Boss smelt the air as his eyelids opened.
“It seems to me like dinner’s ready, gentlemen. I am absolutely famished, so let’s dig in, shall we?”
His hunger was shared across the crew as everyone ravenously consumed the food. Aleksy was still nowhere to be seen. After a hearty meal, the King roared, “Everyone to the throne room! I want to hear what all of you were up to today. This home isn’t going to take itself over, you know.”
This was followed by a mixture of a cough and laughter as the Boss slowly made his way to his throne and sat atop it. Aleksy emerged from the shadows with a haphazardly put-together welding mask still on his head. The crew gathered around the throne; tails piled together in union—all except for the boss. Leo quickly started the subject:
“Boss, I think I know how to take over the house, but we need to start the plan tonight.”
The moment the word "tonight" came out of Leo’s mouth, the pile of tails moved ever so slightly, emerging from Aleksy’s side. But the boss didn’t seem to share the doubt. His eyes opened, and Charlie could swear he licked his lips momentarily. He was listening even more intently now.
“We will cut a hole through the middle divider of the wardrobe and insert Aleksy’s ‘Human Trap’ through it, and when he wakes up to work on a new piece for the wardrobe, B-, we seal the deal.”
He corrected himself midway through the sentence and checked whether Charlie was okay. He wanted to make sure, even though he felt no movement in the pile.
“What are we waiting for then? Off to work with all of you!”
Leo waited for a response from Aleksy, and he didn’t have to wait long. The pile of tails shivered once more, followed by Aleksy’s calm and metallic voice:
“The issue is, sir, we don’t have enough rope for the pulley that will let us arm the device, let alone one for the trigger. I have an idea, but no one is going to like it.”
This time, the pile didn’t merely shiver—it shook.
“Only if we had more time,” he mumbled.
“Our tails could be used as a replacement for the rope we don’t have, but that would still leave us with no trigger, forcing us to trigger it manually, which is overly risky, as we will also need to manually arm the springs right before he arrives. It is too much work for three rats, sir. We should cut our losses and wait for another opportunity.”
“Another opportunity?” roared the King.
“There is no other opportunity. You have disappointed me today, my son. I expected a little more faith from you.”
“Who brought you all from the depths of hunger and let you gorge yourselves?”
The word "hunger" reverberated through Leo’s tail, stiffening it as it moved through.
“Who gave you a home?”
The word "home" echoed through Rory’s tail.
“Who taught you how to survive?”
The word "survive" lashed through Aleksy’s tail.
“Finally, who gave you a family?”
The word "family" curled through Charlie’s tail.
“Now, I promise you what I always have—but tenfold! What say you, gentlemen? Is it worth the low, low price of four tails?”
Aleksy quickly interrupted:
“Actually, sir, we only need three.”
All their tails quaked with fear when the word "tail" was uttered.
“We can spare Charlie’s tail, and he can be the one to trigger the trap manually in return,” suggested Leo, as he affirmed this suggestion with Charlie.
Charlie seemed to both be relieved that his tail would be spared and at the same time concerned that he might let them down. But he thought to himself, *If Leo trusts me, I can do it.*
Rory wasn’t quite fond of this idea, as his tail whipped the pile, as it often did when he was angrier than usual.
“Sounds just fine to me. Any opposition?”
Rory’s tail whipped a few more times, but he made no sound.
“Good, then. I’m going off to bed. I figure you have it from here. Goodnight, all of you, and I believe in you.”
If the tail situation weren’t so dire, Charlie would have been over the moon, but now all he could feel was the fleeting joy of opportunity, and even that was being suppressed. The tails pled goodbye in one final embrace.
Rory was the first to leave the pile. He returned to the throne shortly after with bloodied teeth and holding his tail. He handed it over to Aleksy uncaringly as he left for his room.
Next to leave the pile was Aleksy himself. He left for his room, followed by a brief mechanical spinning noise. Shortly after that, he returned, tail missing.
Leo’s tail was the last to leave the pile. He picked up a knife from the table and disappeared into the shadows. He valiantly handed over his tail and left for his room without a word. After receiving the tail, Aleksy himself left for his room.
Charlie stood there for a moment longer, staring at the throne. *I suppose a tail is nothing compared to a bright future*, he thought.
As he walked towards his room, curiosity got the better of him. He joined Aleksy in his room.
“It’s late, Charlie. You should sleep. You have an important role tomorrow,” Aleksy spoke without looking at him or stopping his tinkering with the trap.
Charlie affirmed with his head and surrendered to sleep.
The rest of the pack woke up at midnight to install the device in the wardrobe. As planned, they left the springs out for the main event in the morning.
They chewed through the wooden separator in the wardrobe. As Leo had previously anticipated, it took a considerable amount of effort. After installing the trap, Rory left for the hiding spot next to the woodworker's room, playing the role of the spotter as the fastest among them.
The nest was silent until dawn. Everyone left with the first light of day.
The wait was cut short by Rory’s screams across the room:
“HE WOKE UP EARLY! LOAD THE SPRINGS, LADS!”
Leo and Aleksy loaded the springs to the machine, it blew open the wardrobe as it primed.
“Heave!” Yelled Leo as he and Aleksy pulled the string made of their tails readying the arm. Followed by Aleksy:
“Lock the arm in place, now! Charlie.” Charlie closed the latch locking the arm in place as Aleksy and Leo closed the doors of the wardrobe once more. Rory took his place under the wardrobe and keenly waited for the man to arrive.
As expected, the man arrived and unsuspectingly took his place on his workbench in front of the wardrobe.
“CHARLIE, NOW!” Cried Rory. Charlie tried to open the latch as soon as he heard the cry but it was to no avail. The latch was barely holding on to the power of the strings, but the lock seemed to be stuck. So, in a split-second decision, Charlie decided to force out the bolt holding the latch attached to the wardrobe in order to release it. He pulled with all the force in his feet—he was applying so much force that he was unaware of the position of the rest of his limbs. He succeeded, as the latch gave up and released the arm, smashing the head of the man open with a familiar but this time satisfying snap. As Leo and Aleksy cheered, Rory was running towards something across the room.
“Charlie, are ya alright lad! Answer me, you little shit!” He was running along tiny droplets of blood towards his destination. Charlie was unresponsive, and Rory started shaking him in an attempt to wake him up.
“Wake up! Wake up! Wake up, you wee little thing, or I will kick yer arse back alive!” But this time, he was increasingly sounding more distressed. He was slightly relieved to see that the source of the droplets of blood was his now missing tail. But the kid had no intention of waking up. Leo and Aleksy made their way to them, and Rory lost it.
“You cotton-furred traitor, look what you have done! I knew there was no trustin’ a pet mouse like you!” he roared as he slammed his heavy body against Leo.
“You potty-mouthed wanker, why did you give him such a big responsibility anyways! Not even that, why do you always fock with his head with your chivalric nonsense? This was the only result of that type of encouragement, you fool!”
“Oh, so you are telling me what you were doing was any better? If he listened to you, he would have wasted away in a dark long-lost corner of the world, and his only food and drink would have been his sorrow! Does this remind you of someone?”
“Oh, you want to make this personal, don’t you, pet mouse? I’ll have fun domesticating you again!”
They both got on their back feet, about to rip each other apart, but Aleksy intervened:
“THAT’S ENOUGH! Get a hold of yourselves, this isn’t hel—” Aleksy’s words were interrupted by a faint cough followed by a weak voice:
“Leo, I think I found what I *don’t* want to do.”
They all chuckled and took a sigh of relief.
“Do you have any severe pain anywhere in your body, Charlie? Does anything feel off?” asked Aleksy.
“My left hind leg hurts a lot. I think it’s broken, but apart from that, I feel fine,” answered Charlie faintly.
“Aye, Leo. Sorry about earlier, I misspoke. The kid might not be as handsome as you are, but he definitely is as lucky.” They all chuckled again.
“I’m sorry too, Rory. Plus, he wouldn’t have survived if he wasn’t such a meathead like yourself.”
They all chuckled one last time before carrying Charlie to the nest.
The next few days were a bit busy. Aleksy nursed Charlie into a stable but bedridden state as the kid apparently hid quite a few potentially fatal injuries. He then helped Leo and Rory get rid of the corpse in the workshop. After that was done, a proper celebration was in order. They lived like kings for the following week but never forgot to visit wee little Charlie in his bed. They brought him all sorts of wonderful gifts, but as time passed, their visits grew farther and farther apart, until the day Charlie was able to walk once more.
When he walked out of the nest, it smelled so pretty and fresh outside. The sunlight was so beautiful, “It was all worth it,” he thought. The first thing he did was to find where Rory was. He found him surrounded by pretty women, making his way to the bedroom. Rory tried to ignore Charlie’s presence, but once they locked eyes, he asked the ladies to excuse him and approached Charlie.
“Whatya want, pumpkin? Don’t you see I’m busy here?” he exclaimed.
“I can move around on my own now, Rory, and you promised you would help me,” he said, filled to the brim with enthusiasm.
“Look kid, later. You feelin’ me?”
“But you promised you would, and you already see—”
“Kid, you are startin’ to piss me off, so how about you bother someone else before I fuck your brains out too? Go to Leo, you were so eager to abandon me for ‘im before, why the change of heart now? I’m sure he has more chivalric code to teach you.”
Charlie stumbled for a moment and then made his way to the living room. There he found Leo drenched in alcohol—so much so that he could smell him halfway across the carpet. He was sunbathing under the window.
“Hey Leo, remember the time when you promised you would help me find myself? I’m here and eager to learn!” he exclaimed once again.
“Snort* wHa? Oh, hwey Chawwie *hic*, can you bwing mwe anotha bottle pleawse from the kitchen *hic*?”
“But you said you woul—”
“WHEN I SAYS ANOTHA BOTTLE I MEANS IT CHAWWIE,” exclaimed Leo as he threw the bottle in his hand at Charlie, giving him a mean purple eye in the process.
Shocked and scared, Charlie scurried away to find Aleksy in his new and improved human-sized workshop, hoping to find aid for his injuries. As he entered the workshop, Aleksy immediately noticed him:
“Oh for fuck’s sake, how did you get yourself injured again?! You haven’t even been out for that long. You know what? They don’t even seem that bad—just get lost. I’m quite busy.”
He was sitting atop a pile of books, one of which was currently open.
“Bb-but Aleks—”
“I said get out, I need some time alone!” yelled Aleksy. Charlie had never heard him speak like that before. He was quite confused and didn’t know what to do. Then it suddenly struck him.
The boss would know what to do.
He quickly made his way to the kitchen. There he was—the boss in all his glory atop a throne of cheese. But as he approached, the lack of motion from the boss worried Charlie, and when he saw that his eyes were shut, he decided not to bother him.
He heard from the others that he was quite bad when he was angry and seeing how everyone was acting today, he decided it would be best to leave him atop his cheese throne uninterrupted. Nothing left to do and nowhere left to go, he returned back to the nest. As the insufferable smell assaulted his nose, a brief spark appeared in his head but it quickly vanished. He crawled atop his sickbed and as he fell asleep. He understood. It was the shit that kept them together.
The day I died was the last day I was free, and I had no idea. As a fanatic atheist, I was absolutely sure that the life I used to live was my final one.
Masada ve ben kaldık bir tek.
Yılların dostu kalbim, son olaylardan sonra ortamı terk etmişti.
Bu satırları, rahatsız edici hiçbir çıtırtının duyulmadığı, huzur dolu bir gecede yazıyorum.
Standart bir cuma günü okul çıkışında, birkaç arkadaşımla Kumbara Gazinosu’nda sohbet ediyorduk. Onları masanın ardında yalnız bırakmadan geriye kalan kahveyi tek yudumda içtim.